Donald Trump - the ultra ultrarunner

If Donald Trump was an ultra runner, he would be the best, more good than others, probably the best ultrarunner you'll ever know. Successful. Very successful. He knows the Western States course, a lovely course. He owns a lot of ultra courses in California. People love them.

Some other things he might say and do if he were an ultra runner based on other things he's actually said.

He would create a database of Muslim runners, even if they do runs not on Ultrasignup. Why do they sign up for races on other sites anyway? That's suspicious.

He wouldn't run against the Tarahumara - he couldn't trust them to not cheat because of their heritage, and because he's been insulting them. Who runs without shoes anyway? That's suspicious.

He would make fun of Patrick Downe's running style. Why would someone with an artificial leg run a marathon anyway? That's suspicious.

He would endorse torture. Suspected terrorists and road marathoners should be forced to run Leadville 100.

He would say, "It doesn't matter what the media write as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass."

He would coach himself. "I coach myself because I have a very good brain for coaching. My primary consultant is myself and I have good instinct for this stuff."

He would accuse Pam Reed of playing the woman card when she won Badwater - twice.

He would claim, "The best quesadillas are made at my aid stations. I love Hispanics!"