Superheroes and superfamilies

Superman and Batman should just put aside their differences. One thing most all superheroes have in common is that they are single. Sure, some may have girlfriends, or boyfriends (e.g., Batman and Robin), but by and large, single. Why? I think it's because of all the time away from normal life while fighting crime. That may make one mysterious and attractive, except for Clark Kent, who may be a muscular hunk but looks ridiculously dorky in glasses. Am I right? It just leaves less time at home which is really hard on a marriage and kids.

Case in point is the one superhero family I know, the Incredibles. They had essentially given up their superhero life, and only resumed it when the kids got involved too.

Do you remember the snarky response from Frozone’s wife when he asked her, “where is my supersuit?” Do you think that she was happy that her husband was going off on another world saving, exciting, slightly risky, all day adventure. Do you suppose he said to her, “I’ll be back in 6 plus or minus a couple hours, unless I get hurt. Then it will take longer.”

Ok, we ultrarunners are no superheroes but we do lead a double life, complete with ridiculous costumes, clown shoes and utility packs full of gadgets. And who hasn't had the Frozozone conversation with their spouse?

And since we're not superheroes, we can't even back up our time consuming pursuit with a valid reason. We are not making the streets safe. We are “tackling the mountain.” Yeah, that mountain looks really tackled now. What do we justify our pursuit with? Health? We are probably doing as much harm as good at 50-100 mile distances. As a sort of quasi-sipiritual journey? What morons signs up to a cult that demands an hour a day, 4 to 8 hours every weekend, and periodically 8 to 30 hours, far away, and $200 contributions? (Insert two thumbs pointing at myself) “THIS ONE!!!”

Sure, we ultrarunners may be the ones running seemingly impossible distances, but secretly, we all know that's it's not impossible. It takes work but it's not as hard as it seems. The real superheroes are the spouses and kids who have the patience and understanding to put up with us self-delusional idiots pretending to be superhuman. Who semi-enthusiastically cheers us on when we announce that we've just signed up for yet another “the hardest race I will have ever done”. Who spends their weekend waiting hours for us at aid stations while we speed in and out as if we're racing Le Mans. Who, after a week taking care of the kids, will spend another solo Saturday taking care of the kids while we're off on another adventure. It's true that we are idiots for thinking that running 50 miles in the rain is fun, but I'm beginning to think our spouses are idiots for loving us. We're a match made in idiot heaven.

P.S. On the positive side, all that improved circulation from extreme exercise means I don't need pills to get my middle aged blood flowing, if you know what I mean. I'm saving tons of money not having to buy Viagra, and that keeps my wife happy in more ways than one.