The Greater Idiot Theory of Ultrarunning
Theorem. One only participates in ultraruns and ultra-endurance events because he/she is goaded on by an even bigger idiot.
Corollary. Follow the line of idiots and pretty soon, you reach the head idiot, who arrived there all on his/her own.
As a biological entity, one seeks to maximize returns for the minimum of effort. The survival of the fittest has taught us that. Why go through extraordinary effort for minimal gain? Or no gain? You don't see lions jogging around the savannah in between meals. What kind of idiotic lion would do that?
There is one exception to this rule. Evolutionary biology teaches us that animals often engage in behavior or adaptations that may be seemingly disadvantageous but for whatever reason, attracts potential mates. The peacock's feathers are a prime example - it slows down the peacock but is useful for attracting females. In human behavior, it reminds me of the starving artist, who forgoes a promising career in accounting to become a musician always surrounded by females. What an idiot!
Several years ago, I met this clown who held the Guinness World Record for fitness. Not only that, but this idiot, Joe Decker, had run the Ultra Grand Slam and Badwater in the same year. Fortunately, my obsession with surfing kept me from getting sucked into his world but that would only last as long as I lived near an ocean.
Finding myself landlocked years later, I started to take on longer runs, with Joe's workouts and runs in mind. My expectations were moderate. The most "extreme" I got was the Jungfrau marathon, 26 miles with 6,000 ft of climbing. It wasn't until I started hanging around bigger idiots that I started doing some of the runs they did - 50km, 50 miles, 100km. I signed up for a 100 miler on a whim because one of my idiot friends got into the storied Angeles Crest 100. Suddenly something I never heard of until a few months ago became my lifelong goal and I'm registered for the AC100, too. And another idiot friend of mine convinced me that I should train for that 100 mile race by doing... another 100 mile race beforehand. I have even bigger idiot "friends" that are egging me on to do yet more 100 mile races in preparation.
Yes, the longer you stay in the ultra-running community, the more idiots you meet. And the bigger idiot you become.
Corollary. Follow the line of idiots and pretty soon, you reach the head idiot, who arrived there all on his/her own.
As a biological entity, one seeks to maximize returns for the minimum of effort. The survival of the fittest has taught us that. Why go through extraordinary effort for minimal gain? Or no gain? You don't see lions jogging around the savannah in between meals. What kind of idiotic lion would do that?
There is one exception to this rule. Evolutionary biology teaches us that animals often engage in behavior or adaptations that may be seemingly disadvantageous but for whatever reason, attracts potential mates. The peacock's feathers are a prime example - it slows down the peacock but is useful for attracting females. In human behavior, it reminds me of the starving artist, who forgoes a promising career in accounting to become a musician always surrounded by females. What an idiot!
Several years ago, I met this clown who held the Guinness World Record for fitness. Not only that, but this idiot, Joe Decker, had run the Ultra Grand Slam and Badwater in the same year. Fortunately, my obsession with surfing kept me from getting sucked into his world but that would only last as long as I lived near an ocean.
Finding myself landlocked years later, I started to take on longer runs, with Joe's workouts and runs in mind. My expectations were moderate. The most "extreme" I got was the Jungfrau marathon, 26 miles with 6,000 ft of climbing. It wasn't until I started hanging around bigger idiots that I started doing some of the runs they did - 50km, 50 miles, 100km. I signed up for a 100 miler on a whim because one of my idiot friends got into the storied Angeles Crest 100. Suddenly something I never heard of until a few months ago became my lifelong goal and I'm registered for the AC100, too. And another idiot friend of mine convinced me that I should train for that 100 mile race by doing... another 100 mile race beforehand. I have even bigger idiot "friends" that are egging me on to do yet more 100 mile races in preparation.
Yes, the longer you stay in the ultra-running community, the more idiots you meet. And the bigger idiot you become.
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