What the cabbage? An epic adventure on the Skyline-to-Sea trail and lessons learned on organizing a fat-ass event

What started out as a nostalgic fat-ass run with my dumb ass brother turned into an epic fat-ass run that will go down in history as the second best fat-ass run in California. My brother, Sonny, his college buddy and I ran this route two years ago. He spent most of the last two years road running, but his bi-curiosity got the best of him, he wanted some trail action, and he asked if we could run the route again in January, coinciding with his work travel schedule. And so it was. And so began a chain of events that would lead to the end of a chain of events.

Rain. The biggest kink in our chain came from the drought breaking storm that was January, 2017. In the first 10 days of January, we received 17" of rain, overflowing Lexington Reservoir, flooding the creek trail, knocking out power in many places, including 20 hours at my house, and blocking some or all of our routes to Castle Rock and Waddell Beach - highway 17, Saratoga SR9 and Black Rd. Instead of water, luck would rain on us for run-day weekend, as the sun finally came out and two of the aforementioned three routes were fully opened, SR9 just two days prior to the run. The park ranger warned that trails would be muddy and some of the river crossings may prove tricky, but we're hardy ultra runners - "hardy ultrarunner" is code for stupid runners, in general.

Hardy har har

We began our day using breakfast at Los Gatos Cafe as our rally point. It was still chilly, freezing temps by the time we started our run at 8:25 AM at Castle Rock. It warmed up just enough to maintain perfect running temps throughout the day. How lucky could we freaking get? It's going to rain for another week starting Wednesday.

Saratoga run party. That pretty much sums up the day. For a small fat-ass run, incredibly we had two runners fly in, Sonny SoCal and Steph of the Northwest. We ran into the lead runners from the other Saratoga fat-ass, Stuart, Larry, Jeremey, Pierre and more, starting their second half as we were finishing our first. SB 100k champ and Camino de Santiago lejund Kevin Moore eventually joined our group. Quicksilver 100k winner, Chikara Omine, also joined us from start to Waterman. At Waddell Beach, we also caught up with another small group fat-ass runners. There are a lot of fat asses (and dumb asses) in Silicon Valley.

Running in technicolor. Technical - the first 2.5 miles from Castle Rock State Park to the campground is technical - rocky, requiring lots of scrambling, sliding in between boulders, and holding on to cables on steeper rocky sections. Although net-downhill, we couldn't do any better than 12-minute miles. Color - the forest was alive with color beyond Steph and Satpal's matching dayglo green jackets. California's seasons are opposite the rest of the country - green in winter and dry, nearly dead in summer. The Santa Cruz mountains stay green year round, though extra green with the rains, but also red and orange from the deciduous trees relenting to frosty weather.

Getting lost. We stayed together as a group for the first six miles until we got onto the official Skyline-to-Sea trail, which we would take to the finish. Sonny and Anil promptly took off to the front, and... got lost. We were surprised to see them coming up from behind when we regrouped at China Camp, our half-way mark. That was the last time the entire group was together. Ultra-veteran idiots, or ultra-idiot veterans, which is more accurate will become apparent as you get to know them, Satpal and Alex would go slow acting as sweep and safety. Visitors to the bay, Sonny and Stephanie were guided by our Facebook friend with benefits and veteran, Stephen, while a few of us attempted to follow Kevin's lead. It is a single trail from summit to the sea. There are still a handful of tricky turns that are easy to miss, as my brother ably demonstrated. 

How not to get lost (alone)

Don't go off-trail

Exploding trees. Running in the Santa Cruz mountains always requires going under and over a few tree trunks. This being just two days after an epic storm, we were greeted by trees that literally exploded on the trail. There were body parts everywhere - broken limbs scattered the forest floor. Our scout, Kevin got the worst of it, injuring himself several times plotting safe paths for the rest to follow.

Climbing over, under, and through all the down trees in Big Basin State Park. If you've ever read about the Battle of the Bulge in WW II, this resembles the Hurtgen Forest in Belgium where the Germans shot artillery into the trees creating carnage with the exploded wood everywhere - Stephen Strauss

River crossings. On the last third of our trip, the trail would cross West Waddell Creek several times. Sometimes there was a bridge, often times there was not. The rains washed away the first sad excuse of a bridge that used to be there, and the easy traverse looked impassable. Some of us risked life on limb, crossing over slippery tree trunks, while others forged uncharted waters.

Risking life on limb

Onlookers ogling a bathing beauty

One of few bridges left

A beachin' time. The first of us to arrive at Waddell Beach, 6:50 after starting, were greeted by Stephanie's brother, Stewart, who true to his name boiled us some stew to warm up. My dad-van/SUV (sports utility van) was waiting. Andy wanted to run the reverse course by herself, so we arranged to swap cars, she leaving mine at the beach, and I leaving hers at Castle Rock (which she got entirely lost on the trip). We tried to remain warm with soup, fruit, pretzels and beer, a combination only ultrarunners can love,  while waves of our group finished the run. Most were done within an hour. Meanwhile, we huddled in or behind the dad-van, watching a movie on my dad-screen.

Ramiro and Edmundo.

I'd like to say this was the first time I waited a couple of hours for Alex and Satpal to finish. I'd like to say this was the second time I waited a couple of hours for Alex and Satpal to finish. I can say this was the third time, in the past 12 months, I waited a couple of hours for Alex and Satpal to finish. At least they didn't get lost this time, and we got to watch a beautiful sunset on the beach.

All day in the mountains, arriving at the sea

Me, Bob, Anil and Kevin - 2nd, 2nd, 2nd and 1st for the day

The RD and Marty, enjoying soup and Pliny the Elder IPA

Lessons. Go ahead and invite a lot of people - at best, only a quarter will show up. Have warm food and clothes at the finish - we get remarkably cold when we stop running. Don't let any runner go alone - two idiot are slightly less likely to get lost than one. Schwag, gotta have some - it's incredible how motivated by and appreciative of people are by cheap crap.

Our finisher medal

Get a cool name for your run - che cavolo voui - montagne o mare, Italian for "what the hell do you want", literally, "what cabbage you want, mountains or sea" was our motto for the day. We want both of course!

Finally, suggest a donation or charge a small fee upfront - someone's gotta pay for cleaning out the dad-van that still smells like boiled cabbage.

PS. I got called "RD (race director) a lot, but this wasn't a race. It was a fat ass run. So, I'm more like an AD (ass director).

PPS. This will go down in history as the second best fat ass run in California after next year's event.